welcome to my blog. is a little bit of everything happening in my life. okay a little bit more than a little. fine! a little more than a little by a little :D
all my post are copyrighted.

addie(:
there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect yet I'm Lovin' It
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
This is my blog so Click here if you hate it.

okay my retarded list shall remain in my box till after the sept 16!

i cant wait! let me be done with it with one!

final papers are starting so soon! so everything to finish soon!

finally, its okay to dream a little dream.

i guess when people ask me something and i dont wish to answer, i just simply say: 'cause i am a LEO, go google!

hahah.

oh yeah.

10 down, 13 to go!

till then
smile and stay beautiful
xoxo
addie(:

this is my 2nd post of the day. not something that i usually do but here i am.


I am a writer, a dreamer, a artist, an actress, a director, a judge, a sister, a daughter, a lover, a student, one somebody.

I am so tired of not going for things i like
not being different
not being the person i am when i am alone.

i have great mind. i paint pictures before i fall asleep. i dream and write them down, hopefully just hopefully i am good enough to be chosen. i never ever once submit my work. never ever once put my heart out in doing the exam. never ever once be true to myself.

i felt like i am such a joke. i will never know where i stand if i dont perform. i wanna get into a great improvise school. be me. make a name. i know i will get there. this sucks. i never think so much before. never felt like someone in the movie where you know its just pure acting.


anyway, i watched The Fall....

seriously my best movie ever, yes hot shot in it so what? haha he is freaking tall man! urgh!! anyway, i like the way it was written, the pure innocence of this younger actress. she is just wonderful. you dont see much acting when the 2 actors talked. its just talking to a little kid, telling her stories. painting her world. storyteller <3

anyway he had to fake the ability to walk the whole time, just to convince his little costar and almost everyone in the set. not the director... duh and the director is simply amazing! i wanna meet him. all of them. and saw the part behind the scene where he had to tell her the truth. she looked so shocked, so cute! omg, so lucky!

JEALOUS jealous! hahah

uber super super :)

anyway, i know its like a bit retard to like a celebrity. haha. but on the other hand. a few of my friends already know what type of guy i go for... haha time to enjoy teenage-hood without a lover! haha i am still very very young and still looking. till i meet one.

as always

till then. smile and stay beautiful
xoxo
addie(:

PS: bright smile people!

someone added a blog counter thingy on my blog for me to track down how many people visited my blog. though i dont know who but i do know the IP address and so on. the worst part is: there are so many IP address and i wanna the country... i know theres a way to see it but however i couldnt be bother...

anyway who. i think i need to delete some of my post. its just getting a little too much of information on things i dont wish to talk about. & i know. wth... why is my blog address on the 3rd of goggle list when it was asked in a search? crap... a little privacy please...

so much for a unknown blog. well, thats what they say when you got a blog, facebook and things like that. none of which is safe. even internet banking i assume....

so, life been a little unfair to me.

that's life huh...

suddenly it hits me. the whole line of event that happen. omg. omg. how can i not see it. stupid me.. when u start reasoning out the event. everything its so perfect that its a lie. a big one. damn.

till then, smile and stay beautiful.
xoxo
addie(:

fine! i take back my words! what i said about chin and dimples.. haha i do look for guy who have that and a few other details..... god what a freak...

anyway. i google on that one idol that i thought he dont have the chin and turn up he do have that chin.. and guess what i found next???

hold it...


alright! he might be joining twilight gang! yeah for me.. duh... hope he gets in and what the hell like twilight and harry potter gets like 2 parts in their next upcoming movie. what a rip off! yucks! what a bitch.. i mean why prolong the show? you can do like a come back or a remake once in the blue blue blue moon. why prolong the show and take more money out from the fans?

of course by casting my idol in it.... NO! it wont make a change for crying out loud. NO SIR! but then on the other hand. i think i will watch him played on a huge screen wont i?

maybe, unless i am still in town thats for sure.

anyway, i am so much happy that the world finally find peace with me &... that i finally can forget and let go. now that we are back into different parts of the country/earth. I am so so so much open happy :)

PS: i am not a stalker. i just search the drama show that i was watching and found his face tag on his fb page.

thats the end of this post for this dearly girl... I am coming home baby!

till then, smile and stay beautiful(:
xoxo
addie(:

Whats the true meaning of letting go? hopping that sour milk aint sour?

to love and let someone into your life is hard. to forget about good times its even harder.

human minds are such a funny thing. it can blocked out bad things and it can blocked out things we chose to remember, for instant, i can ask you to think all the events happened today. but i want you to think of a different outcome.

example: if you happen to bath before having a meal, try to picture yourself having a meal before your bath.

get my flow? i hope you do. :)

so after you kept thinking on that, convince yourself that the picture outcome was the true incident. i am sure you are able to do it. and then keep your eyes close and think through the rest of the event.

now read the rest of this post.(:

i have no idea what make me a real happy person lately. perhaps my mind and heart are both open and allowing new events to take place. and of course catching up with things i been lacking behind since day 1. i finally put down this rebel side and focus on this main event.

so i been thinking about having a new blog url. but i dont want to give up my url. hahah. hmm. what will happen if i grow a little older and meet more parts of the world and start loving the world? will i read my old post and start laughing at myself? i am already doing that now.

however they say, thats how we human grow. we have a past entry of our life and we look back on it once in a while and we laugh at ourselves. i had a book of my past event since i was like 5 i guess. i cant really remember. there wasnt date to prove when was my first entry. of course back then, they were real hard copy and not this blog. even now, i find pen-ing down my thoughts much "real" than this.

and little things made me wonder why do i bother writing it down.

but now that every little things we did.

okay back to the change of event. so now i am sure you remember very clearly that the little twist of event you made. can your mind replay the whole day to you with that little lie you had?

if you cant get my point, write down events happened today and on another piece of paper write down things you had changed. read them back in like a week or so. read the remake paper.

i am sure your mind will agree with you that remake was the true whole event.

maybe you get my flow, maybe you dont.

grab yourself a gelato, 'cause i am getting one. :)

till then, smile & stay beautiful.
xoxo
addie(:

between the heat that i had with you; they are love, tears, joy and more heat.

reason i was not in any contact with anyone these couple of weeks, mainly, there is no true reason. for those i did come in contact in, via anything, count yourself lucky...

nah nah, i am not going to have a major depression or somewhat related event. i am just tired. tired of being someone that everyone would love. i felt like a pushover and i am not a pushover, i am slowly learning to say no to things that are not that important for now. saying no to high drinks and banging music, saying no to you.

for now, till 3 of my papers are over and i will be back. for now, i need my soul to be save while i carry on making new masks.

and yes, i read all of your tweets, walls and blogs. i had them bookmark. so for those who think i went into rehab, how i wish i were in rehab. i am just learning simple things for now. and to those i recently turn down, i promise you, i will make it up for you. :)

now lets pray that this rain will wash away what happen between us and may we forget that night.

till then
xoxo
addie(:

vampires suck movie

let me tell you. it really sucked!

unless the whole point is telling die hard twilight fans that twilight is draggy, i get it. The show itself was funny for the first 30mins and it gets on being real draggy towards the end.

funny, and boring though.

but you got to watch twilight to fully understand the jokes! haha i love it when gossip girl talking crashes with becca's narration.

till then
xoxo
addie(:

suddenly looking back at photos in my room. & its finally time to throw away those unless photos, i saw a few photos on this aussie trip i had with my school band, trust me, it wasnt at all fun until knowing this other few guys from sister school of my secondary school.

anyway, i totally remember why i took photo with this other aussie guy who is not in band! hahah. I remembered when we were on our break at one exchange band with this school and I totally dont like my section thus i am always hanging out with some other sections. anyway, so i was walking around and i went near a pool. it was beside a hostel and there were people dancing outside the hostel girls mostly and they were dancing to some songs. & this guy stood beside me started talking to me. it was when i had a mouthful of water cooler water and i swear it was dripping from my mouth. He was the kinda guy i like! tall, big, you know! hahah anyway, so he asked me to join him for a swim and talked really a lot. i cant remember his name now or how his face really look like, but that over everything was the highlight of that day. :)

oh, the package was from her! oh my god. i freaking love it. its all in purple with my A printed on always everything! i posted up on fb and now its the desktop picture! lunch with my cousin and distant cousins were swell, plus one amazing jumpshot! haha waiting for him to get back from his trip and he will upload it.

for now its writing thank you cards and also mugging for my dear exams!

till then
xoxo
addie(: