welcome to my blog. is a little bit of everything happening in my life. okay a little bit more than a little. fine! a little more than a little by a little :D
all my post are copyrighted.

addie(:
there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect yet I'm Lovin' It
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
This is my blog so Click here if you hate it.

i really am not look forward to meeting my brother. though i really miss him and i am happy that he is happy but i still dont feel like meeting him. i just dont want to go into a school, take some test to define if you can study there. i want to relax and i want not to think about all those.

i love taking german. its not something i will have second thoughts again. but its getting closer. do i really want to move over in 2 years time? i never really asked myself that question. what do i really want to do? i cant live on my passion because i dont have the simple basic. i do have the overall. but to make it, i cant pass. i will have to chop myself into half before i can get into the center to be... simply me. not saying that i cant now, i can. but the chances as compare to as i am half, the me now had only... 15% and the half of me... 50% . you see the percent.

and to live on what i am learning now? i am dying to make ends meet. and the worst it, they are bringing in a new subject, there are too many on my plates now. i cant even take the time to think about it.

and i cant fail.

i cant fail, because everyone is looking at me. i am dragging my mother, brother and the other side of me in this ugly world. and i cant fail.

i cant quit either. i have to walk down even if there is like a zillion wounds on me. i cant quit.

i grown into this person where i cant see myself fail. its like breathing underwater and you know that you cant but there is this moment, sparks that made you want to try it. and when you did, water rushes into your nose and your brain into a state of... pain

pain, define that to me. i felt nothing with a stab wound in me.

2 years, 2 years, i will get a new phone and move my whole room to there. am i even ready?

let me ask me this, are you ready? i can tell you now, i dont feel like i am. in 2years time, so you can take your time to think? i am sorry i cant. i just dont feel like.

stop asking me to walk around and do those tiny little things you wish to do now. eg: run in sun, cause you will miss it. i wont. i am not dying. so i wont.

i am sorry. but i really dont want to. i would rather kill myself now and let someone stab me.

i am sorry...


well, on the other side, i got a new phone! LG crystal. its a awesome phone. so much awesome. haha. i cant tell you anything but its so so so freaking awesome then my that old phone. cause this phone is.. awesome. no tiny details for now. i need to rush to some place now.

till then...
xoxo
addie.

PS: life fails you or you fail life?