welcome to my blog. is a little bit of everything happening in my life. okay a little bit more than a little. fine! a little more than a little by a little :D
all my post are copyrighted.

addie(:
there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect yet I'm Lovin' It
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
This is my blog so Click here if you hate it.

i want to kill myself. in a way. okay.

lesson learnt. when your cell phone show deleted all. dont do it. or you will be like me. i did it and all my photos, GONE! not even in the damn phone. and also all those photos, i never put it in the computer! 200 over photos. okay its not that bad. no it is. all my farewell photos in it. ahr! i am so so so so so crying now. darn. stupid thing to do. to delete it! ahr. feel my pain!!!!!

PS: squirrel cried too...

well, i been used by someone as a sounding board or that's what i known of. watched private practice today, in between breaks and found myself very alike. and here's a something from the show

"talking is important, because when you dont talk, when you dont say whats on your mind."

"because you were using me as your Addision. i am not your Addision, not any more. i used to be, before Addision got here, and then you just started, talking to her. you hurt my feelings and i know i am a therapist and i am supposed to say that its alright, but its not alright. you cant made me your Addision again and think that's made it all better worked it out with Addision."

"and then come talk to me, when you want to talk to me"

- taken from the show.

i am so like a sounding board to someone. and i had enough. just because we been together before. just because she got here now and you went back to her and when you two are no longer together, you find me to talk to, to complain about things and wants me to understand them when at first you walked away. so please, when you are ready to talk to me. to me as a person, to me as me. i will listen. before that, i wont listen. and you need to watch this episode so you will know how i feel.

right...


PS: squirrel is looking at me. again...

haha not now, blogging in the middle of the night. thought that woddie will be online but instead i had a whole new different story. haah

anyway when to mum's office today and i was so treated like a superstar! haah miss all the kids and which means i will be going down there more often now. after my majors, though. and how when i was young, younger. or when you were younger, you made friends like within a blink. i was at the playground when i saw this group of kids and a girl like click on the spot. thats the time when you dont think who is who, when things dont get too colourful. thats was when things are just colour and its pure colour. hahaha

plus i am not mean, i never was. and to you, i dont have much people to lend on too. so you should be glad when i said that. cant wait to drama again. oh did i mention, i saw hot shot and dancing pole. not together, they totally dont know each other. haha anyway thats darn cute to take a bus around to meet so many people.

and glad the darn a.math paper is over. shopping with cancer on monday and also leo is roaring again haha. (:

PS: squirrel is enjoying her happy hour.

i am so so dying man. this exam is killing me and the noise! ahr! and i so cant get any sleep!

anyways i am glad that i had like 7 more papers to the end of my sufferings! so not supposed to blog but, hell yeah! (:

PS: squirrel is craving for fun

hahah, bonding and shopping oh yeah.

after the damn practical, met cancer and went town to shop and also bond at the same time. there is so many things to say and i dont know if i said it the right way or he should know it. its the damn secret that the whole wide world is pondering around it.

i got lost in town. haha the rain is like pouring and i dont really dare to walk out of the shelter. haha damn stupid right. i kept turning to the left when i should turn to the right. haah

anyway i am so so damn happy with today. haha dress, shirts, dinner and secrets haha. anyway, little leo is growing up. thats what cancer said. haha anyway i think i had to mug like now, the last lap baby! hahaha

PS: squirrel happens

haha i love sat alright. haha

cancer came home to have dinner, bet he thinks i was joking when i said i am sick. anyway so we had a pillow fight to make me forget about my horrible flu and right after coming back from dinner, we started chasing each other. haha well, cancer and leo, it happens. so we are going shopping after practical! yeah!

anyway SND RESULTS ARE OUT, PEOPLE~ haha and guess what, i passed! haha, expected la. (thick skin) anyway haha so i think i will get it back after my major major exam. so yup. anyway why cant she just close one eyes when she knows that i had my bracelets on? stupid stabb. dont scold her, later she stabb me! haha!

anyway i had a super 4 hours chat with woodie, god i miss her. its been a month plus since we met. due to all exam and staff and oh before we chat, guess who called me? MYY! haha she told me about my exam and about the bracelets thingy and thats like the major thing. i mean, come on. so we chat and her *ho hm* did not did that well this year, yeah. haha glad mae won her. she won her big. mae the superstar now, ah.. haha anyway so woodie and i chat like from 9pm till 1 am. well, i had to do something before i take my pills.

seriously, when you are on medication, your mind is blank. i wanted to say there were no nuts in some dish for dinner and i took a super long time to say it. i dont know how to tell you but its somewhat sounds like that. plus, i tried to mug physic and after an hour. i cant remember anything. oh man... thats bad. haha hate it.

so i think i had to finish those or my fever will rise up again. anyway damn pissed. so woodie and i started talking on and on about stuffS. lots of stuff. haha plus i think the medication is starting to kick in and i am really in a daze now. so i will end here.

PS: squirrel is looking at woodie's little red dot. (:

yeah, down with flu. so i get to take a break off today. which means more sleeping. did even get a wink yesterday night. all the flu and the sore throat. haha get to rest and use my lapptie.

catch brothers and sisters and private practice today. and both is about keeping secrets, when the cat is out of the bag. and its seems like it is just telling me something. i kept secrets for someone else. more than that someone else. plenty of secrets about friends i had. not telling who, or whom i had to keep them from. anyway just to say (god, and i cant talk. like seriously no voice) that all secrets are safe with me and i am keeping mum.

so secrets are safe...

anyway, i should be sleeping now. so yeah. haha well, after watching worst week, which is damn damn funny! haha (:

PS: squirrel saw hot shot!!

i am so seriously pissed. there is nothing more to connect with my soon to be old school. i am pissed with those fakers and i am not going to try to be with you guys because it wont worth it. i want my friends! whom isn't fake at all. not like you people. damn fake! you FAKERS.

tell you something in the face and at your back telling again story. dont smile at me, i know what is behind that wide lovely smile. if only i am back. if only i am not here. if only i dont know you people! ahr. fine. damn fakers.

ahr! as chris and randy said, dont be pissed, they hate each other inner too. i am glad this is soon over. and i cant believe what i see. yeah, the IT girl is being the END girl, huh. i dont treat people the way they do. and they treat this to me. hahahahahahahhahahahahaha. i am mad. and dont try to cool me off chris. not worth.

damn why he has to move. i miss him where he made me feel so much better. where i know that i wont be in an empty seat. and i have friends who love me and are true to me. which i had. i had woody which i miss her dearly~ which she got roy to smooch up too..*dont kill me* haha

i only need woody and those guys to keep me warm and happy. haha love you guys! felt much better... hahah

anyway i went to "work"again. haha last day so yeah. can now put all my time in studying. now, lets see who laugh at who.

PS: squirrel wants woodie

haha farewell party yeah. aim, not to cry but then, everyone around me started turning red and cry and i soon the gang. haha

with all the blessing and care from the teachers and constant eye contact with all those who came out and take a speech. the reason i am sitting at the front, at the corner where there is a space in the middle.

so touching speeches and slides and all those talk from passing the "bond" to one another, and tears and food and photos. with smiles end the show.

got lunch with aisah which is like a serious long time we meet. and had to rush to my new work place with is like my mum's new office to help the kids in studies. and of all its like... met andy on the bus but we did not talk. well its shy andy, you think?

anyway been there and talk and scream alot and also its like only 11 students which is like... and guess what i am mark maths and english which is giving me a big big headache. anyway drank like 2L of water within 2 hours. hello!

damn tired. anyway oh man, anyway i am super tired. did not even get a chance to study. hope i am able to study on monday when i there again. and i had to skip physic...

and a year before i lost greenest... miss you dearly!

PS: squirrel is squirrel

okay i am so so super slack today! haha

anyway i am damn slacky today so i think i will going to mug in the middle of the night! well, just two months more. okay one month and 11 days. so push on.

anyway, movies have a deeper meaning behind it.

okay, i dont know what to add now....

PS: squirrel is counting down the days