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addie(:
there's nothing wrong with my name.
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I'm imperfect yet I'm Lovin' It
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
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me.

i am seriously lazy. i cant set myself down to work or to study. even with the sign that wrote exam less than 3 days. i cant study. okay so the power went off and that should limit myself to do my work or to study but ended up. i am sitting in front of the blank TV just looking at it. seeing myself back in the reflection and just enjoying my hair been move by the wind.

i think i took a nap and i dreamt of something really weird, something i had not been dreaming for years. i dreamt of the frog Mr. Cujo had for science lesson in grade 4 and i really don't know why i had that dream. and the frog kinda look like the bull frog they sell in the wet market. those frog which are seriously big and big and almost too big. seriously much bigger than the frog i had at home. it would be like 100000 times bigger than green green. anyway as i was saying that frog Mr. Cujo had for science lesson.. the frog seriously chose the wrong path. it should jump away. well the lesson was about cut it out, no wait i mean take out the heart and show us that the heart is till MOVING for a long long time even when the frog is pronounced dead. and i till cant figure out why am i having that dream. anyway i till remember the frog "death" look. i mean it was pin on all of it limbs and cant move till Mr. Cujo had to used a knife to.. you know. Eww and than cut the heart out put it on a disk and show us. and seriously he was right the heart is till beating even when its out. and why am i so unlucky to be in his class. no i think i am lucky. i heard the other class is doing on a rabbit. well i seriously felt something for the frog. it could have a better life. leading off with it spouse and have lots of young it and not being tortured by Mr. Cujo.

i hate BIO after that day. seriously hate.

How do you know how much is too much? too much too soon? too much information? too much fun? too much love? too much to ask? and when it is all just too much to bear? lying is bad or so we were told constantly from birth. honest is the best. the truth shall you free and i chop the cherry tree. whatever. the fact is lying is need. we lie to ourself because the truth seriously hurt. i had to lie to myself. to tell myself helping someone doing something so not your job or somewhere near the way of the job is a good deed. i had to type non-stop for hours looking on to some handwriting which i seriously got to figure out which is a which is e which is G which is J which is f which is t which is l which is h. and there was a saying that says you cant choose your family, you take what the fact hands you and like them or not, love them or not. understand them or not, you cope. than there is a school thoughts that say that family you are born into is simply the starting point. they feed you and cloth you, take care of you until you are ready to go out into the world and find your drive. so helping someone,which is a family of mine is something you do. like so kinda repay to them. so humans are born to help others and what are others born here to do?